Certified Bureau of Energy Accountability. Est. 2026. Every clack logged, no violation ever found.
The Bureau of Energy Accountability exists to audit the desk toy every office already owns for a loophole in the conservation of energy. So far, zero loopholes. We keep auditing anyway.
Momentum Transfer Efficiency is recalculated at every clack by comparing the swing you receive to the swing you were given. Air resistance, string friction, and the occasional distracted intern are all factored in. The figure has never once gone up.
A desk cradle that swung forever would violate the Second Law of Thermodynamics, embarrass several textbooks, and put this Bureau out of a job. None of that has happened. We remain employed.
Requesting certification again does not change the outcome. It is, however, logged, stamped, and filed in triplicate. The Bureau thanks you for your continued contribution to its growing archive of expected results.